Tucked away in the Eastern cusp of Costa Rica's central valley, is the only known habitat of the rare and beautiful Costa Rican Gorilla Bug. Local legend says they were created on a windy night when a thunderstorm fought for attention in the sky with the full moon, and they sprouted up from a sugarcane field the next morning. Who knows? What science does know is that they always come in pairs, they are some kind of mammal, and they have a strange psionic attack that enslaves whatever household they are living in.
And yes, Dr. Girlfriend and I happen to be the lucky residents of said household, but it's not a bad deal. As it turns out, their inability to move around really works in our favor for now. But upon doing a little research I found out that he's little critters are actually only in their larval stage right now. And one day, they eventually grow into beautiful Tica / Gringo hybrids that will be able to rob men of their hearts with either a smile or a quick flick of the katana. It's amazing thinking of that, because in this stage when they're only little Gorilla Bugs, all they pretty much do is cry, fart, eat, and engage in low impact biological warfare.
I guess what ranks them amongst the more kick ass wildlife is the fact that their cheeks are really kissable and they can perform an amazing array of sounds that try as I may, I cannot duplicate. They also smell really nice ( when not committing the aforementioned low-impact biological warfare). And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!
In all truth, I am reeling from an incident Tuesday night where my son and I were gleefully eating peanuts together and I somehow managed to rip off an old filling and half of my molar along with it. I can't have anything done about it, because of work, until Saturday. So senor dentista gave me a prescription for what is apparently the Costa Rican version of pure morphine until then. So I would just count on my posts for the week being just a little bit on the daffy side...
Actual tarantula photographed in my first apartment here.
Thankfully I am not very frightened of critters. Considering where I live, I would be a nervous wreck if I had any kind of insect or arachnid-based phobia. Especially now during the rainy season when all the tarantula holes are being flooded out by the constant storms we have that seem to only let up for a few hours at a time. I was also raised by a wild injun mother who always impressed on us that killing a spider in your own house is incredibly bad luck. I have carried that belief with me into adulthood more out of respect than superstition, but this has hamstrung me on more than one occasion. It would be so much easier to simply crush the dinner plate sized bird-eating spider that decides to just walk casually into your children's room. But I always opt for the trap and release method which results in a lot of screaming, climbing up on tables, and smacks from a broom wielded by a terrified Tica.
Luckily my office/man cave is offset from the rest of the house, and it is basically an enclosed portion of the back porch. I keep the door to the outside open the entire time I am here because few things are as intoxicating as the breezes here. That and during the day, I would roast like a chicken if it weren't open. But having this outdoorsy feel to my workspace comes with a very steep and often times terrifying price. On more than one occasion I have been enjoying some music and a videogame late at night with only the PC monitor for illumination, only to look down at my feet or glance somewhere on my desk and spot a multi-legged intruder. I can't express in words how awesome it is to be playing a game like Resident Evil or Alien vs. Predator, and then glance just a little bit to the side and see a real face full of fangs and beady eyes... Good times...
I first met
Geoff
on a rainy night about three weeks ago. I was up late playing Civ5 while listening to Free Thought Radio and sipping on some locally made sugarcane-based distilled goodness. Just happy as a clam. I was playing as the Mesopotamians, and I was well on my way to dominating the earth via scientific research victory. I was trying to find a way to get the Japanese to surrender a town to me when I felt something crawling on my mouse hand. I jerked it back and looked down to see a cockroach much larger than my thumb scuttling across the top of my desk. It had just walked across my fingers on its way to a corner without showing any fear or hesitation at all.
I respect spiders but I hate cockroaches, especially ones that make me spill my Cuba libre and interrupt my strategizing. I immediately looked around for something to righteously smite this little prick, but the trick would be not to destroy any of my equipment in the process. I realized that being buzzed and pissed off at the same time was a combination that tends to wreak havoc on expensive computer gear, so I sat back down and looked around for the thing to maybe figure out a smarter way of going about my revenge.
House Gecko macking on a spider
He eventually emerged from under my keyboard, and I saw him try to make his way towards my monitor. But he only got about halfway there before a head sprang out from behind it, also under the keyboard, grabbed it, and started crunching it down. As it was trying to work the huge bug down it's gullet, it creeped out from under the keyboard and I got to take a good look at my new found friend and officemate. Geoff is a House Gecko (Hemidactylus frenatus) about 4 1/2 inches long, and ever since that night, he has made random appearances either on my desk or the wall of my office. I literally cheered for him as he crunched down that cockroach and gave me the satisfaction of watching it happen. It wasn't a quick death.
He always ends up disappearing before I can grab the camera, but one day I'm gonna snap a shot at him while he's in action post it for you guys.I've owned dogs, cats, snakes, and even a hamster. But no other nonhuman resident of my house has ever been more welcome than this little guy. I would never want to put him in a cage as he performs a very valuable service for me and my family, but I wanted to show you a little video that demonstrates incredible quickness and acrobatics these little guys have...
So it's been communicated to me that maybe you guys would like to see more bastard wildlife as well? Let me know, and I'll mix them up a bit!
As promised, I have decided to give the more asinine of Costa Rican fauna a little rest for a while due to my not wanting to give this amazing little country a bad name. Yes the place inspired Jurassic Park, sure people get literally eaten by things here, and sure maybe some of the snakes should seek some kind of anger management therapy. But let's not let them spoil it for the rest of them. There are just as many, if not more, cute and cuddly denizens of the rainforests and shorelines here.
Case in point, this cute little guy here...
This is Simia sciureus, or the Squirrel Monkey, and he's pretty common down here. As the name implies, he's pretty small (25 to 35 cm plus a 35 to 42 cm tail), and likes to hop around in fruit trees all day. He doesn't make that much noise, they don't throw poop at you, and they do not have the slightest taste for human flesh.
My first experience with them was in Manuel Antonio National Park where their numbers are still thriving despite the rush of development that is encroaching on their natural habitat. They make a noise that is somewhat like a child's squeak toy or rubber ducky. I absolutely love them. They are very friendly and will oftentimes "join" you for whatever picnic meal you may be eating as I soon discovered. Luckily they are vegetarians, so your burgers and hot dogs are safe. The corn though...yeah that's forfeit. One of the most adorable things I have ever seen in my life is watching one of these little dudes try and eat an ear of corn on the cob that was almost bigger than them....
Much like one of the Costa Rican national heroes, Astronaut Franklin R. Chang-Diaz, the squirrel monkey has extensive experience in outer space. In fact, he could be considered the animal kingdom's answer to John Glenn in that his species has been in space more than any other primate besides us (yes fundies...we are primates...deal). Go ahead and click on the image on the left and you will see this little dude "Baker" giving a proud smile for his accomplishments. Note to PETA members, this rocket is a scale model and not the actual rocket with a monkey duct taped to it like in the Mexican space program.
So let's watch some videos!
And here is a rare attack by one after someone accidentally kicks it. I'm sure the bottled up rage of being in a diaper contributed to it as well...
So this ends my first installment of "Kickass Costa Rican Wildlife", how was it? Boring? Let me know if you like this train of features or if the fiercer critters are more interesting!
