Thursday, February 24, 2011

North Korea Sucks (Except the Traffic Girls)

North Korea sucks ass...

The country's entire Wikipedia entry could contain only those four words and that would be pretty much all the average person would need to know about that horrible place. Imagine if you will, the Jim Jones cult from the late 1970s one day becoming a nuclear power. Further imagine that Jim Jones dies and for some reason is still the leader of the cult, but now his spoiled rotten brat of a son is calling the shots. North Korea literally lives in a nightmare, and if you ever want a really close view of that nightmare I highly recommend you check out Vice magazine's three-part gonzo documentary. The reporter and his cameraman go in as tourists to this place and film is much as they can, very gripping stuff and it can be found here. Below is an excerpt from that documentary which pretty much proves that you can't even get drunk with the average North Korean...


The one redeeming quality of this place is its lack of traffic lights. I know that might sound a bit strange, but the replacement they came up with is something to behold. These are the Pyongyang traffic girls, they are hand-picked from the prettiest, most politically loyal (brainwashed), and weather resistant ranks of female high school students. There is an entire site, run by a madman no doubt, that is completely devoted to the phenomenon of these lovely yet robotic flesh cogs in the rickety machinery of the North Korean Communist Party.



Although I guess I can understand the fetish, and hell, they are cute as buttons. But I feel more pity for these adorable automatons than attraction. I do know that dictatorships inevitably fall, and one day the North Korean people will be able to experience freedom (or at least a fucking sandwich) and I hope that when they do become a free nation once more, that they keep the traffic girls. Call me old-fashioned but nothing screams obedience quite like a pretty lady in uniform....


17 comments:

The Governor said...

North Korea has traffic? I didn't think they believed in motorized transportation.

UncommissionedArt said...

Dude, I love reading anything about North Korea, it's fascinating.

Shelby Fox said...

How do videos like this get out of North Korea anyways?

But waiting at a red light would be a lot easier if I had one of those traffic girls to look at =)

Astronomy Pirate said...

I watched this awhile ago, NK is a pretty effed up place. But there is word that protests might be happening there too. One can hope.

ebm93 said...

Yeah, life there is pretty hard. Had no idea about those traffic light girls actually.

Scott said...

Wow, that's wild. They surely are quite robotic.

aqilah said...

nice port video visit me back

Meghan Moran said...

really interesting

synoptixs said...

i saw this documentary, its eerie how they go to restaurants and theres no one but the journalists and they take the food back

d0t said...

Interesting post, its sad though what people there have to deal with. No food, no electricity.

There was a small protest there recently for food and electricity, hopefully they can get basic human rights

tearinox said...

No clue they used Traffic Women. Interesting post!

Anonymous. said...

Shit man, slamming babes.

l33 v4n cl33f said...

its like an alternative reality

Banacek said...

They have some pretty good teas, too. A friend of mine just went there and brought some back.

Siphil said...

You know your country is terrible, when the lack of traffic lights is the only positive.

jaque said...

dude, if you're interested in north korea, i strongly recommended that you check this one out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossing_the_Line_(documentary)

Anonymous said...

Really.