Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Chupacabra Found on West Caffiene Street

"Gustavo" silently craving the sweet ecstasy of fresh blood.
Apparently his name is Gustavo, and my insane Tico neighbor has adopted him into his family as a pet. I will admit that I have not seen this little bastard try to suck any goats, but I'm willing to bet that has something to do with the fact that there aren't any goats around. Though his owners (read: future victims) insist that this ferocious abomination is some breed of dog,  I have snapped this picture in hopes of being able to hawk it to either a university or possibly even Robert Stack. Fortune and glory....

I just got back from a brisk walk down my street after encountering the creature, and I feel like I could literally fly out of the window and over the mountain range surrounding this little pueblo.

That's all pure mountain grown Arabica coffee bushes...disco shit.
 Nobody told me that eating raw coffee cherries could do this. All up and down my block, coffee plants are used as shrubbery like most other places in this part of Costa Rica. And when the cherries get all ripe and smell all fruity-coffee good, how am I not supposed to start macking on them? Sure all the locals look at me and laugh as they walk by, maybe a couple of them yell at me to quit before I "die". Who cares, this is something I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't caught on to yet!

Whew! Cold sweats... Hey, did I tell you guys that I met a frikkin' chupacabra today? Yeah, it scared the living bajeezus out of me!

So apparently, it's best to squeeze the pits out of these cherries and roast them and THEN make coffee, but that plan sounds too damn tedious to me...

I should one day though. These things grow literally all over the place, and the process can't be that damn hard. That might be an idea for a future project: "Street Coffee". I'll keep you posted on that one! 

33 comments:

A Hermit said...

He is waiting for you to go to sleep, then he will eat you

Chris said...

Interesting..

Questions said...

I always thought chupacabras were monsters.

Meghan Moran said...

sounds fun, I'd like some coffee cherries. and that's no chupacabra, that's a cute pup!

Astronomy Pirate said...

This post looks like it was written on a caffeine high. Also, how clean are those coffee cherries? I'd worry about pollutants on them before eating them.

baxxman said...

Really nice. Make your own coffe

Melanie said...

love this!

Shutterbug said...

Looking forward to the "Street Coffee" post... You should totally do it! :)

Robert Fünf said...

Haha What kind of "dog" is that?

Maki said...

Yeh very nice, us fins are quite coffee drinkers, made me thirsty. Following u

Alphabeta said...

Laborious, but freshest coffee possible!

Bluntmasta Flex said...

Cute puppy! Be careful with that coffee now..

mac-and-me said...

lol
coffee now!

Paranormal Explorer said...

I'd seal up every entrance into my house if I was you :P

Megan said...

oh my gosh it is so cute!!

i am glad you found me on here...i enjoy your blog and am definitely following.

i loved your tips about pineapple! i totally must try it because it was my favorite fruit growing up...im desperate at this point :-)

anyways, i look forward to following your adventures! have a great week!!

<3 megan

Lhosreiff said...

A dog...Okay.

ed said...

coffee is good, i need one right now

Sam said...

Lol, amazing!

Andre said...

why does this remind me of futurama
How to Hack Life.

The_illustrative_Mind said...

Fresh squeezed cherry coffee juice? 25 cents a cup?
awwww yeah

Kim Anders said...

lol nice!

The Game said...

It's a dog :D
Anyways, good to know that bout' coffe

Choms1337 said...

Chupacabra - FTW !! :D

Merlyy said...

Looks like a polarwolf to me.

YellowNiceTechno said...

Gustavo is great name for El Chupabras

Patti D. said...

Somehow I had picture it as something more scary?

Korkut Üneli said...

lovely

Something Concupiscible said...

Sounds like it would be tasty.

Anonymous said...

а потом людей нужно будет чем-то заинтересовывать. А чем? Мне кажется, вздохнул Релир, на сегодняшнем совещании обговаривать этот вопрос смысла
стороне Никиту с Лави и вздохнул, покачав головой. Гласс перехватил его взгляд и задумчиво хмыкнул. Он бы на месте альфа-координатора схватил внучку
им рукой и подошел к стойке. Привет, Эдди! поздоровался он со стоящим за стойкой человеком. Рад тебя видеть, старина. Ларен, улыбнулся ему
несколько минут она уже вытирала нос какому-то пятилетнему малышу, что-то ласково приговаривая ему на ухо. Мальчик выглядел ошеломленным, но почти
сожалению, не подойдет. Работа с детьми-эмпатами сильно отличается от работы с обычными детьми. Наверное, это будет приемлемым выходом, кивнул

Erika said...

Chupacabras are really cute, I think ^_^

Banacek said...

He probably just wants some Taco Bell.

leanmeansteen said...

i want to get zooted on street coffee

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