Chupacabra Found on West Caffiene Street

"Gustavo" silently craving the sweet ecstasy of fresh blood.

Apparently his name is Gustavo, and my insane Tico neighbor has adopted him into his family as a pet. I will admit that I have not seen this little bastard try to suck any goats, but I'm willing to bet that has something to do with the fact that there aren't any goats around. Though his owners (read: future victims) insist that this ferocious abomination is some breed of dog,  I have snapped this picture in hopes of being able to hawk it to either a university or possibly even Robert Stack. Fortune and glory....

I just got back from a brisk walk down my street after encountering the creature, and I feel like I could literally fly out of the window and over the mountain range surrounding this little pueblo.

That's all pure mountain grown Arabica coffee bushes...disco shit.

 Nobody told me that eating raw coffee cherries could do this. All up and down my block, coffee plants are used as shrubbery like most other places in this part of Costa Rica. And when the cherries get all ripe and smell all fruity-coffee good, how am I not supposed to start macking on them? Sure all the locals look at me and laugh as they walk by, maybe a couple of them yell at me to quit before I "die". Who cares, this is something I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't caught on to yet!

Whew! Cold sweats... Hey, did I tell you guys that I met a frikkin' chupacabra today? Yeah, it scared the living bajeezus out of me!

So apparently, it's best to squeeze the pits out of these cherries and roast them and THEN make coffee, but that plan sounds too damn tedious to me...

I should one day though. These things grow literally all over the place, and the process can't be that damn hard. That might be an idea for a future project: "Street Coffee". I'll keep you posted on that one!